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Slow to Anger

Introduction

“I have a right to be angry” or “you’d be angry too if I did that to you” or “she made me angry” are terms we hear people say often to justify their anger. We always point to the example of others’ imperfections that support our bias towards a group or a single action or habit of a person. And we let it simmer and then boil until we forget our kinship, brotherhood, and spousal or familial love and replace it with hate, jealousy, and animosity. So much that we’ll ruin relationships for the sake of hatred.

Anger, however, is a very basic emotion and is always the result of fear -- the fear of being hurt or being wrong. In order to live a more excellent way, we need to eliminate fear and anger from our lives and turn it into opportunities for purposeful evaluation and growth.

The Case Against Anger

Marcus Aurelius contemplates how connected to the universe the soul of the human is. He discusses the fact that for all things there is a purpose in the universe and to let ourselves react with fear and anger is to injure our souls. He writes: “The soul of man does violence to itself, first of all, when it becomes an abcess and, as it were, a tumor on the universe. For to be vexed at anything that happens is a separation of ourselves from nature, in some part of which the natures of all other things are contained. In the next place, the soul does violence to itself when it turns away from any man, or even moves toward him with the intention of injuring, as happens when people are angry” (Aurelius, 1997).

There are obvious levels of harm one can inflict on another -- either at the macro societal level or the micro individual level. And our reactions to that harm often result in fear which turns to anger. Some harm is legitimate and bodily dangerous, like Hamas launching rockets at civilians in Israel or a negligent driver who texts while driving. I’m not proposing that there is parity in those examples, but they’re both examples of potential bodily harm behind both actions.

And then there are perceived threats of harm that others may either purposefully or accidentally inflicting on others -- a coworker quietly spreading rumors about someone else at the office, a husband second-guessing his wife’s hair style, or a politically conservative family member posting an article on Facebook that contradicts our perception of what’s right about healthcare policy.

According to Aurelius, we’re doing harm to ourselves if we allow ourselves to become angry, regardless of where the offense lands on the spectrum of actual and perceived harm. That’s not to say that Israel doesn’t have a right and obligation, as a nation state, to somehow defend its citizens against rocket attacks from Hamas. It’s also not to say that at work, when a coworker is spreading false (or even true) rumors about you that you shouldn’t act to correct the situation. It is to say that fear and its offspring, anger, are not the best way to react.

In the Old Testament book Ecclesiastes, the Preacher admonishes us of two things: first, in chapter 6, verse 5, it says “It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.” Second, in verse nine, it says “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools” (The Holy Bible (King James version), 2013).

Conclusion

It’s tough to not react with fear and anger. Perhaps, for one aspiring to live a more excellent life, we must control and only react with anger if we’re faced with imminent bodily danger to ourselves, wife, and children.

There’s so much that causes anger in the world today. Threats that are real and perceived. But anger isn’t helping. Anger doesn’t resolve problems. Anger only promotes discord.

Works Cited

Aurelius, M. (1997). Meditations. Mineola: Dover Publications, Inc.
The Holy Bible (King James version). (2013). Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.